…and it ended.

They say your heart starts beating faster and you get butterflies in your stomach when you see your love. But when I see him, this beautiful world gets more beautiful, the land becomes the sky and I see him through the moonlight falling on our faces – nothing less than paradise.

The feeling is inexplicable when I am with him. I don’t find enough word to say how I feel, I want the time to freeze, so that this moment lasts forever, my heart beats so loud that I can hear it, eyes shine brighten than the stars, the passionate moment strengthen me within, I feel high, wishing to look at him constantly with a smile.

That day wasn’t a pleasing day for me, but it was not a worthless day too. It was noxious to my heart, nothing more. I swear, I was never incertitude of his love. From a formal handshake to the tightest hug, it was all magnificent, and I can remember it as one of the beautiful days of my life. I can still express how I felt, how I knew I was in love. 

I was looking at the sky, beautiful and divine. It seemed to be deeper than the sea, more peaceful than silence and gorgeous than any angel. It appeared as a painting on a canvas, with simple colors well framing it. For me this was unusual, I never felt so much happiness just by embracing the sky. I felt eternal happiness, happiness of being in love, happiness to know that someone loves me with all his heart. The feeling of being a jerk in love was enough to make me jubilant. With a new hope, I imagined myself as a bird in the sky which flies elegantly and happily, and the sky cuddling that little bird warmly. 

I can still remember little things that he did for me. The chocolate bar at a restaurant, that 6 feet long sub he made me eat and a rose at our first official date. There are things that I miss, and I know, I can never get them back. Ice tea made by him, my alarm clock for a nap, the only person to hear my endless talks. 
There are be so many memories to pen down, but they are like long days and endless nights, the more you think, the more you want to write. 

If only I could count how many times I kept posted my mind that the road has taken a turn and I can no longer go straight, there is nothing, and I have to take this turn, I have no choice. 
When we can’t stop loving a person, we try to hate them. Fights were a way to do the unwanted. Despite of sharp and harsh words, I couldn’t do it. Later I realized that hate wasn’t a right way. The only honest way to get the true picture in my head was to accept the reality. It was hard but it was necessary for me as well as for him.

I have stopped telling myself that I love him. I hope this works. There is a reason, a good reason behind everything. Not today, but eventually I would know.Image


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