Let me go…

hands picture

Let me do it,

not to hurt you, but for myself.

Let me now do,

things I never wanted to.

Let me forget you,

to find myself.

Let me plunge in loneliness,

of not being alone, but me.

Let me ignore your love,

to find my love for myself.

Let me allow to pour my wrath upon you,

not to hurt you, to hurt the gutted man in me.

Let me tell you that I don’t need you,

not that you aren’t good, but I don’t deserve.

Let me not see you in that Red Saari, my lover,

not that you don’t look beautiful, but it makes me a dreamer.

Let me go, away from you, from our memories,

not for ever, but at least for few days.

Let me say that I don’t want to hear you,

to  hear my inner voices.

Let me pretend that I am happy without you,

to make it easy for you to not think of me.

Let me not show you the disappointments in me,

they are darker than you seem to know.

Let me stay quiet when you ask about my purpose,

I am shallow, even to myself.

Let me show you that I don’t miss you,

to not bother you.

Let me not discuss my dark secrets with you,

inside this man, there is a demon.

Let me not unravel my philosophical side with you,

you might think of unloving me.

Let me know the real man in me,

not just the one who loves you heartily.

Let me take some rest for a while,

before I run out of time.

Let me just get out this nothingness,

before I completely destroy myself.

Let me just hurt you for the last time,

to love you like you are just mine.

But baby, let you not cry,

it is not a goodbye.

Baby, let you not call me, drop a message.

 Let you not miss me.

Let you not try to read my heart.

Let you not smile at me and say,
I love you.

Let you not bleed your ink,
in my remembrance.

Let you not kiss me with a gaze,
no, not for now.

Let you not paint me.

Let you not recreate my presence,
in your dreams.

Baby, just let you have faith in me,

 and in our love.

 Let me go now, to come back,

and then to never leave you again.

-Kritika Vashist

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