Dear Mom

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I had a sheet and a pen
to write down everything
that my heart and soul
wanted to convey
but, my hands couldn’t
ink the sheet and my mind
couldn’t put them in words.

I know how it felt
when with all love
you pulled my cheeks
and kissed them
one normal morning
which, however
with your adoration look
turned into a special one.
Later that day, I realized
how stupid was I
to call any day a normal day;
for everyday of my life
I have you beside me,
and that was special
and shall remain
forever and beyond.

Perhaps, I wanted to tell you
how much I love you
in words, in poems.
But you know?
I couldn’t really convey it.

The blank sheet then looked
at me in disappointment.
Perhaps, it didn’t want
itself to remain expressionless.

I picked up my pencil
started to draw lines, curves
whatever that my hands could
and my heart would draw.

I remember how your eyes
glittered in happiness
how your eyes could shine
even when they were moist
after my love to you was conveyed.
It was then I realized that
sometimes a picture speaks
more than words.
I know that I would never have
enough words to tell you
how much you mean to me
or to say that my life without you
would be worthless and suffocating.
However, I hope that the colors that
filled the sheet could tell you
a bit about my love and respect
I have for you, dear Mom.

– Kritika Vashist

PS. This is the painting that I gifted her.

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Before I Sleep Tonight

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I’ll learn about all the possibilities of feeling euphoric without you, before I sleep tonight.

I’ll discover myself through perpetual scars on my body, that your storm gave to me, before I sleep tonight.

I’ll promise to give myself all the happiness I deserve, that got lost while I tried to give endless to you, before I sleep tonight.

I’ll wear a smile while I look at my perfectly kohl-ed eyes in the mirror, that earlier looked like a black brook, before I sleep tonight.

I’ll learn to give myself a chance to live with mistakes I do, the same mistakes that everyone does and yet complaints, before I sleep tonight.

I’ll love myself for being who I am, the same person you had once loved and the one now you hate, before I sleep tonight.

I’ll realize the fact that no one loves you truly unless they accept you with your flaws, anger, imperfections and weirdness, before I sleep tonight.

-Kritika Vashist