I Should Have


My eyelids became heavy
trudging through the memories
holding the weight of the days
when my eyes could see
the subdued moon and stars
but neither your crescent smile
nor the twinkle of your eyes
I should have taken the bus
but there was no place to go
there was no one waiting to see.

Clouds burst from the heaviness
and in drowned all the words
I put on the back of the ticket
in a hope to tell you how much
my eyes yearn to see you
and yet they see you everywhere I go
I should have sent you the letter
but there was no address
there was no one waiting to read.

-Kritika Vashist


That’s All I Am


I wear your shadow
The vulnerable imprints of you
On my unvulnerable body
Outlining the skin
Burned by your love

Should I trace or break them down?

Our stories
Our sorrows
Engulfed in my
Hallowed bones

Should I save them or let them drown?

The paralyzed heart
Permute the remains of love
Into words, bit by bit
Threading a veil of
Poetries of you, for you

Should I embrace or destroy them?

But there’s no way
To breakthrough you
When my poetry finds only you
Within and beyond my horizon

But there’s no way
When that’s the all I have, all I know
All I survive with, all I survive for
When that’s all I am.

Kritika Vashist

शाम का ढलता सूरज हु मैं… (With English Translation)

Image source and abstract meaning: https://hbhatnagar.wordpress.com/2015/10/19/mundane-mondays-25/
Image source and abstract meaning: https://hbhatnagar.wordpress.com/2015/10/19/mundane-mondays-25/

शाम का ढलता सूरज हु मैं…

शाम का ढलता सूरज हु मैं
हल्की इस आग में सुलगता हु मैं
रात का अँधेरा जब उतर जाए
मेरे इस टूटे हुए बदन में
शराब की बोतल में डूबती तिश्नगी सा झूमता हु मैं
इस गीले काग़ज़ पर लिखे शब्द करते तो है वफ़ा मुझसे
ना जाने क्यों फिर ज़िन्दगी से ख़फ़ा हु मैं…

Shaam ka dhalta sooraj hu main… 

Shaam ka dhalta sooraj hu main
Halki iss aag mei sulagta hu main
Raat ka andhera jab utar jaye
Mere iss tootey hue badan me
Sharaab ki botal mei doobti tishnagi sa jhoomta hu main
Iss geley kagaz per likhe sabad karte to ha wafa mujhse
Naa jaane kyun fir zindagi se khafa hu main…

English Translation:

I am the settling sun aglow 

I am the settling sun aglow
The half-lit embers burn me slow
When the dark descends and drowns me quite
Then gold does on my cracked lips flow
These dewy words do hold my faith
I hate this world and life even so…

Translated by none other than the talented, Himanshu Bhatnagar. Who, like always manages to keep the essence of the poem with its rhymes.

This poem is dedicated to the one who translated it. Yes, to Himanshu, on his birthday.
Wish you a very happy birthday once again, HB. You are awesome and stay the same, except those extremely insane things that you do, you know what I am talking about? 😀

Love and Regards,
Kritika Vashist

For a Friend

It is difficult to tell
of when and how
the fragrance of
flowers of our friendship
started to linger around
you and me, but
I am certain that
the garden of your love
has already dwelled
into my heart.

Not many words
were spoken
the last time I met you,
yet I remember how
every word was heard.

Again today if I drop
this pen and let these
words to wander
I know that you will
pick them up
where I left,
with your love.

Kritika Vashist

Esoteric Man

Artwork by Birgitta Bachmann

As the night wraps itself in velvet silence
He unveils his serape of feigned happiness

The lugubrious reflection of light through the glass
half filled with his drunken musings of night
half filled with whirling wind of her memories
falls on the tear-stained pages clasping his insanity.

The words of heartaches etched relentlessly
He gives voice to the aphonic cries of the blues.

The windstorm rushes in through the broken windowpane
blowing away the inked poetries into many pieces
breaking the glass of survival into many fragments
destroying each spoken-unspoken word that never sufficed.

The dead and buried floats on the blood oozing out
Indelible suffering carved in the cuts of an esoteric man.

-Kritika Vashist

I wonder

What have I settled for?
Ink in my pen or the words.

What have I accomplished?
Their smiles or my unheard cries

Where have I escaped?
To another planet or the one inside me.

What have I longed for?
Their love or mine own.

Where have I hidden myself?
In seclusion or loneliness.

What have I lost?
Time or my mind.

What have this life decided?
I wonder.

Kritika Vashist